the blue flames are the mark of mystery!
i have come from the blue sea~♪
ryusei☆blue, shinkai kanata…☆
kira~☆

approximately the amount of time i've liked kanata

    i am writing my feelings to kanata only in the form of a letter. you don’t need to read it it's kind of the 10 page essay rewritten shorter
    disclaimer: yes i’m talking to an anime boy as if he were real and you know what? IDC


    i’m not used to being serious, and the last time i wrote something like this was august 2018 .. so i’m sorry if my personality starts seeping out a little too much

    dear kanata-kun, no, ryuusei blue ☆
    i’ve always imagined that, if you were real and i got the chance to speak to you, i’d start by thanking you. i feel like i owe you a lot. ever since i ‘met’ you, my life has changed for the better. because of you and ensemble stars in general, i’ve made a lot of friends and experienced a lot of fun things. being able to think and talk about you as much as i want has made me so happy. i think you’re so interesting, the most interesting character ever and even if it’s not that deep it really hurts no one for me to get deep about you. it makes me happy and it isn’t unhealthy, so i’m going to keep doing it. it’s not like my life was horrible or anything beforehand, but it didn’t need to be, because even if i was the most privileged person ever, my life inevitably would have become more colorful upon discovering you.
    despite not being real, you’ve done a lot for me. because of you, i can smile more often. i think maybe, i’ve become a better person, and i’ve definitely become happier. i kind of feel like the point of your character was for you to not be relatable, but i think you’re relatable anyway haha. not in a crazy deep way, but there are some surface level things about you that i can apply to myself and it makes me like myself more. i’m really grateful for that.
    i’m not keen on talking about my deeper issues to people, but just having you, um by my side, in a sense, has made me feel a lot better about some stuff. if i wanted to get super cheesy i could say that you’ve saved me, because you’re a hero aren’t you? my hero ♪

    i think about you almost every hour. even when i’m hyper-fixated on something else, i make sure i mention that i love you at least once a day. i love you a lot, i am filled to the brim with love for you and ryuseitai that it comes out as tears sometimes. thanks to you i’ve discovered that i’m a crybaby. i’ve met a lot of people who like you too!! and i’ve met people who didn’t like you or were indifferent about you, or didn’t know anything about you before they met me, who never shuts up about you, so i feel like i’ve helped bring fans to the Church of Kanata, but even without my constant rambling, you’re just a very likeable character. i want to befriend everyone who likes you and make everyone like you at least a little bit. there’s been an uprising in kanataP though and i hope to be-friend or at least be-mutual them all. we will start an army of kanataP.

    i think you are the cutest person in the world. cuter than any human. cuter than any anime character. it drives me a bit crazy to be honest. you’re every adjective that could be used to describe someone’s good looks… you’re so pretty it makes me sick. somehow you look natural even though you have bright blue hair and bright green-yellow eyes and then really pale skin under it all, so you kind of just stand out, but in a natural way. i’m obsessed with you so i pay real close attention to the littlest details about you like how your lashes are long and thick, the longest ones in ryuseitai, and how your skin is kind of pale, and how you have droopy eyes, so you always look sleepy. if you take all those features that i just described and use your imagination, you’re kind of looking at a really beautiful person. WTF. and at the same time i think you look like a stuffed animal haha because you have a fun color palette and then your personality and mannerisms are just so eccentric, also your hair is fluffy YOU are fluffy. you’re so cute so cute so CUTE kanata, so cute i am addicted to looking at you. i want to burn the image of you into my retina so that i see you whenever i close my eyes. i like you. i want to hug you. even if you’re soaking wet at all times, i don’t care. even if you were covered in thorns and needles. even if you were a pathogen of a fatal disease. i would hug you. i would put all of the love my body is capable of holding into one hug for you, and then i’d hug you even more. but since i can’t do that i’m stuck writing a letter to you as if you were real. i like to imagine that you’d pat my head, and maybe cheer me on a little, probably wink at me. i love your voice. oh it is so cute it is like a whole nother category of perfection i cannot describe the happiness i feel when i hear you sing. sometimes i go through all of your voice clips and just listen to you talk .. i’m seriously in love with you. another weird thing i really love about you is how you call yourself ‘boku’ instead of ‘ore’ . boku is the cuter pronoun anyway, and you using it really drives me crazy it fills my brain with kanata love even more than it already is so sometimes i feel like my brain might explode. you’d still be cute if you used ore too, actually if i heard you call yourself by ore i might have an aneurysm for real. in conclusion, i love everything you do. i love how you are always or always try to be in a body of water. and i love how you say puka puka. and i love how japanese fans refer to you as puka sometimes. i love how you do whatever you want at all times and i love how you’re a little bit dumb, although, you seem to be very perceptive, and i think that’s because you’re curious about everything since you grew up extremely sheltered. i like how you sowed a fish into the pocket of your school uniform. i don’t know why you’re so physically strong even though you’re doted on and you live life slowly, but i like that about you too. you could kill me with one hand … it’s a recurring joke among fans that you are probably capable of murder but i don’t actually think you are. you’d never hurt anyone. i do think you have more raw power than goku from dbz though. definitely.

    i really just can’t get enough of you. i really can’t. if you zoomed in on a fragment of my dna you’d be able to see the words ‘i love kanata’. sometimes i wish ryuseitai was the only unit so that you would constantly be getting content but i would definitely be overwhelmed by that so it’s okay .. i could write at least a paragraph on anything you do because my hobby is over-analyzing things no matter how simple. i love the interactions you have in canon because i know that you have always wanted friends. i know how much you love and cherish every single one of them. i know you would do anything for the people you love, and your unit is just like the family you never had. it makes me so happy to know that, after everything you’ve been through, you’re able to be happy and able to smile genuinely. it makes me believe that i can too. so thank you for giving me that kind of hope. ryuseitai is always singing about doing this kind of thing for people, and it’s effective because i feel saved by just being able to exist in the same timeline as you and them.
    ryuseitai is my favorite unit because i think the sentai theme is cute and the most appealing i’ve ever seen and suits my personal interests but also because you all are like one little domestic family. i love all of you so much respectively and as a whole. but i think the main reason why i love ryuseitai so much is because it’s your home. you have your household, and the marine bio club, and the oddballs, but ryuseitai is your home. it’s where you can be yourself and even if they think you’re strange, the other four love you very much. you look after them and take care of them and treat them like they’re precious to you because they are. so when you’re with them i know you’re at your happiest and that makes me heart squeeze
    it’s been mentioned a couple times that you’ve become more human since you were a second year and, i think so too. i’ve read the stories in chronological order and i am really impressed with your character development. you went from not knowing anything to not caring about anything to loving everything. because thanks to ryuseitai and all of your other friends, you’re finally happy and content. you can still puka puka to your heart’s content, you can still talk about at eat fish, you can still make your sea animal mascots, you can still sing and dance and be the idol you’ve always wanted to be, you can finally be yourself, and not the false god that you were raised as. it makes me so happy to see you happy. maybe it’s cheesy to say something like that, but those are my true feelings.

    this year (2019) we finally got your reminiscence event… your backstory was more wild than i expected. the living god thing had been mentioned plenty of times before so i had a general idea, but you were put on the highest pedestal a person could be on, from birth, and sheltered from almost every single thing. you were barely even allowed to have emotions … and the worst part (for me) was, you didn’t even realize that the way you were living was wrong :( you embraced it and tried to be happy about it because you were always told that you were a god. and deep down, you hated being like that and you were so lonely despite not even knowing what those emotions meant. and when it came to light that you couldn’t actually grant miracles and wishes, because you’re a human, you had to face harsh ridicule and hate for it. that made you feel even worse and made your question everything you’ve ever know. i’m not exaggerating when i say that broke my heart. my chest really hurts when i think about it...when people say “[character] did nothing wrong” they’re actually talking about you. because you really have never ever committed a single atrocity ever in your life. the fact that the first hug you ever received was when you were 16 years old is absolutely awful .. like chiaki said when he hugged you, if there is evil in this world, the way you grew up is definitely it.
    it really really kills me inside that you grew up that way and i KNOW you aren’t real and i’m crying over some lines but IDC
    you’ve mentioned before that you relate more to the villain in tokusatsu shows, and that you’re always scolded by your mom, and that you are/used to be a bad child. i’ve realized there are many inconsistencies with the story in enstars so this can be taken with a grain of salt but is it because you’ve begun to reject your false godhood..? or because you aren’t actually able to work that kind of magic? well i want you to know that you are probably as good as a person can be. you’re nothing like a villain. you’re intimidating to some people and you say some wild things but i know you’re nothing but good. you’re probably more like a martyr … who isn’t dead lol
    i’m so glad you’re happy now after something like that. and i’m so happy that you’ve made so many friends. i said that already but i had to say it again

    assuming this is possible, your reminiscence event made me love you even more and i already love you so much that if it were measured in weight it would be the heaviest thing in the universe. the more i learn about you, good or bad, the more i love you. it’s just how things work.
    you are my absolute most favorite character out of every single one there is. i like you more than most humans too. i love you so much and i’m sure i always will. even when i grow up, i’ll remember you as a positive influence on my life.

    once again, thank you for giving me these kinds of happy feelings. thank you for being in my life. thank you for making me smile, thank you for giving me hope, and for filling me with love. thank you for being my hero. i’ll always love you kanata. alwaaaays. no matter what you’ll always be ryuusei blue. please continue to shine as the kind of idol you wish to be forever ^__^ and i’ll continue to support you for as long as possible.

    i wrote this in 2017 sorry...



    .
    i’m terrible with words, so i’m sorry for run on sentences or being repetitive...

    ..
    kanata wasn't my favorite when i had just gotten into enstars. at first glance he doesn’t fit into any of the character tropes that i usually like, besides having blue hair and an ahoge, and back then there was hardly any information about him. when he did become my favorite(in 2016, like a while after the first anniversary, to be specific.), i still didn't really know anything about him other than what was on his wiki page.
    of course, that's definitely changed now….i try to consume every bit of information about him, i can’t read japanese so i have to rely on translators. but for the most part, i think i know just about everything that’s been revealed about him. but that still isn't a lot because he's the “mysterious” trope character...that isn't bad though, that’s one of the reasons why i like him so much and it gives me something to look forward to when he gets new cards, and i’m excited to learn about him... but i do wish there was just a LITTLE more… enough shunazu sex party night.. it needs to be kanata time…. there is only so much theorizing that my little brain can take before it fries.
    it’s weird to me that i’ve only liked him for a little over two years now. he has been in my mind and all of my thoughts for two years…..but it feels like it’s been longer. i had a super ultra favorite character before him too, but kanata is just better ⁽˙́ʷ˙̀⁾
    i love him more and more every day. english is a restricting language. if i could just send you the emotions i feel when i hear his voice or see his face or think about him at all in general, you’d understand. it's just a really nice, happy and warm feeling. it’s like, for a brief moment, every negative feeling i’ve ever felt has ceased to exist. it feels like everything gets brighter, everything feels better, i’m suddenly motivated… that was pretty embarrassing to type
    -
    as an ocean obsessed character, his design and name is based off of it. his hair is blue like water, his eyes are green….like turtles, i guess, because plush/stuffed turtles are his favorite object. his name literally means ‘faraway deep sea’ or something along the lines of that, and he’s as mysterious and unknown as the ocean itself. he talks about it like it’s his home, like he really did just come out of there one day, and other characters say that about him too. he can apparently talk to sea animals, i think that means he can understand their behaviors and what they’re supposed to mean…? he gets really excited when he talks about fish, and the ocean in general. he loves telling people about them in hopes that they’ll understand and start loving them too. kanata’s favorite color is blue, if that wasn’t obvious enough. he loves blue because it’s the color of the sea. he carries around a plush of a football fish a lot, and he also likes to make plushies of deep sea creatures. he loves fish as animals but also as food… he feels really strongly about eating fish. he thinks everyone should do it. he douses fish or any other food he eats in soy sauce. (i hope his body’s sodium levels are okay…) and it seems like he eats a lot of european food
    he seems all cool and mysterious, and he is, but he also has a childish personality sometimes. his text ingame is in hiragana rather than kanji, some words have quotations around them, and he speaks really slowly for no apparent reason.
    when he gets mad at someone he karate (ryusei) chops them, except he’s really strong, so it hurts quite a lot. according to a few characters, he’s terrifying when he’s actually mad.
    he likes to swim(or rather, just be in water), but he doesn’t actually know how to swim. his alternative to the ocean is the school fountain, he’s not allowed to be in there but i think eventually the student council ends up letting it slide because he won’t listen to them. he gets in there fully clothed, in any type of temperature. ‘puka puka’ is something he says all the time, he’s kind of known for it. for him it means to swim or ‘bubble’(that’s usually what it’s translated as) but he says it even when he isn’t swimming. he says a lot of strange and morbid things, while smiling, like it’s normal. i think my favorite thing he’s ever said was when he told nazuna “the reason why you do not grow taller, and why governments become corrupt, and why flowers do not live for long, it is all due to not eating fish.” though that’s not super weird, i just think it’s funny.
    his hair frames his face and curls a bit at the ends, it looks really soft and almost translucent, like water… it's probably supposed to look like water huh…. if you rotated the shadow of his head some, it would resemble a football fish! that kind of fish is usually villainized or something, kind of like he is in canon, so i feel like that’s also intentional. the cyan of his hair isn’t hard on the eyes. it’s a really nice color. it's not all the same length. its layered in the back, like the hair on top is longer than the hair under it. you can barely see his hairline where his hair is parted. his hair looks really cute when it’s messy, when he’s performing, or when it gets wet, a piece of his hair in the front comes untucked and falls in between his eyes. it gives you an idea of how long his bangs are. on the top of his head right next to his part, there's a little piece on the right that looks like it belongs on the left… it’s really cute. and then, of course, there’s his ahoge. characters with ahoges are usually supposed to be stupid or airheaded, and you could say he fits into the airheaded trope but he’s actually very perceptive. i guess it just fits in with his super cute appearance, but on the inside he isn’t all fluff and love.
    the light green of his eyes looks nice next to the blue of his hair. and both of those look great next to the color of his skin. he has droopy eyes so that he always looks sleepy, or bored or something. his eyelashes are kind of long too… imagine actually looking at him or just his eyes in real… even that thought is powerful. i almost died imagining it. hope you reading this are still alive. he doesn’t narrow his eyebrows a lot but he looks really cute when he does. i like any kind of facial expression he makes, but its my favorite when he’s smiling, and hes blushing a little bit, like when he’s doing a live or looking at something he likes, because he looks really happy.
    -
    i really love his voice. he’s voiced by koutarou nishiyama, otherwise known as kouchan. kouchan and kanata have quite different speaking voices, and i’m sure it would also be difficult to sing in kanata’s voice. but i think kouchan does a great job! there isn’t one thing about kanata’s voice that’s flawed. the way kouchan does it is perfect. there isn’t anybody more fit to voice kanata. well, of course i would say that, since kanata’s never had a different voice~ haha. i think he captures kanata’s personality perfectly. i like how the tone of his voice varies, sometimes it’s cutesy and sometimes it’s firm… well it’s always cute….always………..
    his voice is soft and strong at the same time. it’s gentle but it’s not like it’s trying to be gentle, kanata just has a naturally gentle sounding voice. it’s so cute and airy and far away. it’s sort of childish too, it fits his appearance, and his personality, but if you think about it he’s actually probably kind of intimidating, right? until he speaks. i love all the little noises he makes like when he laughs or when he sighs or when he says “wah!” if you startle him and of course i love it when he says ‘puka puka’. when he sings, he sounds like he’s having so much fun. in every ryuseitai song and his solo, he sounds so lively and into it, and i get the image of him smiling as he sings. it makes me smile too… i could listen to him sing for the rest of my life, even if he sang the same 12 things forever, i’d never get tired of it.
    in 2015 there was this cryptic video of him singing that was going around twitter, like it wasn’t a voice emulator or something like that, it was kouchan’s voice, but he was singing as kanata, and the lyrics are definitely kanata-themed; i saved it off of twitter but now the original tweet is gone. not many people have it now, i think, because i haven’t seen it anywhere since then. if you read this far you can ask me for it hehe~ that was one of the first times i ever really heard kanata sing. it was one of the things that pushed me into producing him, actually, because i fell in love with his voice. finally, this year, he got his solo song! i never expected anyone to get a solo song… but it really happened!! and ryuseitai, kanata, was first. marine blue rendezvous is my favorite song. it’s so cute and innocent, he really is just singing all about his love for the ocean. it’s catchy and it gets stuck in your head but it isn’t annoying at all. i haven’t actually properly expressed how i feel about it but… well it makes me feel so happy, all over my body, i just feel so happy when i hear it. it makes me cry a little sometimes because his voice really is so beautiful. it makes me wonder how one fictional man can have more musical talent than anybody else in this world….okay that’s just my opinion but, i really feel like that. i’m so glad he got a solo song that fits him perfectly, and the way it’s.. composed makes his voice sound the absolute best. it lets him sing in a way that shows off how good his voice is. it really does sound like he doesn’t have a care in the world, it gives me the image of the ocean or the beach or anywhere else that makes me feel calm. it really did him justice… good job frontierworks ( ๑˃◡ ˂)
    -
    i don’t have a lot to say about characters he’s briefly interacted with, but when he met tori, he patted his head and even though tori objected to it, he warmed up to kanata really fast. when he met hajime, he gave him a fish plush, and hajime accepted it, which is something people don’t really do for kanata. he got so happy that he invited hajime to join the marine blue club, and ended up overwhelming him a little. he pat hajime’s head and called him a good boy, like he does to a lot of people, and they complimented each other on their singing. it’s been said by other characters that small things like that are what make kanata the happiest, so i think about it a lot. i don’t know if they’d be considered friends, but he has some kind of relationship with eichi. sometimes they’re nice to each other, and sometimes they’re really passive-aggressive to each other. like every third year, he has a complicated past with eichi, and it didn’t seem like either of them were over it at the end of the year. i wonder if they’ll ever resolve it…
    it’s the same with keito too, though i think their beef is more family related than anything. kanata finds keito annoying, but he doesn’t go out of his way to insult him. keito thinks kanata is a handful and a troublemaker, but that’s just keito’s nature, and kanata doesn’t exactly follow the rules… i hope they can resolve things too.
    i’m not sure if they were all in a unit in their previous year, but he also has a past with the oddballs. they’re all friends, but there’s always an air of ambiguity when they interact. well, depressing things aside, they do get along. they seem to understand each other even though they’re all so strange. according to the eccentric gacha story, they all seem to have some sort of rivalry over natsume’s affection. kanata calls natsume ‘nacchan’ when he doesn’t use -chan for anyone else!!!!!!!!!! isn’t that so cute!!!! out of all the oddballs kanata seems the closest with wataru. wataru and kanata went against each other in a dreamfes… and it didn’t end favorably for kanata. they’re still able to be good friends despite that though.
    kanata is kind and motherly to most of the people he talks to, and almost all of his juniors. except, souma seems to be the exception. he’s pretty harsh to souma, it seems like souma is the person who falls victim to kanata’s ryusei chop the most. souma holds a lot of respect and admiration to kanata. i wonder if souma just stresses kanata out or reminds him of the people at his home who worship him, so that’s why he treats souma the way he does, but that’s just my theory. kanata definitely doesn’t hate souma. he loves him a lot, he’s even thanked god for souma’s smile.
    i like his relationship with kaoru, i like how comfortable kaoru is around kanata, in a way he isn't around anybody else. i like how kanata reminds kaoru of his mom, and i like how they both love the sea, and how they both go there when they need to de-stress. i like how kaoru isn't afraid to be confrontational with kanata, and was probably one of the first people to treat him like a normal person. i like how kanata cheers kaoru up, and calls him a good boy, which is something that’s really important to kaoru.
    despite their limited interaction, he is also friends with tetora. or maybe they aren’t exactly friends, but they’re in the same unit so they’re SOMETHING… i mean if you’re a fan of the ryuseitai family dynamic kanata would be like his ‘mom’ but he interacts with tetora the least...so far it's only the usual ‘shinkai-senpai is strange’ behavior from tetora but he obviously really respects kanata. tetora scolds him sometimes, for getting into the fountain and things like that. kanata thinks tetora acts like chiaki sometimes. i‘m desperately hoping for more interaction between them...please...
    his relationship with shinobu is one of my most favorites… at first, shinobu was afraid of kanata and would sort of walk on eggshells around him, but eventually they got close enough for kanata to be able to hold shinobu in his arms, or scold him, or poke fun at him, without shinobu or kanata being uncomfortable with it. they’re both similar in a sense that they were saved from their loneliness when they joined ryuseitai, and while kanata is like a parent to all three of his ryuseitai juniors, he seems the most like one to shinobu.
    kanata and midori is also one of my favorite senpai/kouhai relationships… like everyone, midori was weirded out by kanata at first but they also grew to be close. i like how they look at the ocean together, and i like how kanata gives some of the plushies he makes to midori, and it makes midori really happy. i like how midori finds kanata cute even though you think it would be the other way around, and i like how midori always seems to be looking out for him. i'm glad kanata can be a comforting presence to midori in contrast to how chiaki is always stressing him out. even though at first kanata would also stress him out, midori’s grown fond of his strange behavior.
    at first i wasn't sure what to think of him and madara, because it was revealed so suddenly you know? i do think its funny how kanata is so blunt and rude to him, i know kanata doesn't genuinely hate him so, i think it's an interesting dynamic compared to the rest. i know it's been said that kanata acts that way because he assumes madara has an ulterior motive for being nice to him. he doesn't understand why, after all these years of kanata being mean to him, madara still treats him so kindly. in my own personal opinion, i think kanata is just acting a little like his true self around madara. or maybe he feels threatened around madara because madara is one of the only people who knows everything about kanata. i think about this a lot. it was also mentioned that madara was involved in the student council’s takedown of kanata, whether that means madara was in on it or on the wrong end like kanata was, i don't know. one day happy elements will explain though.

    chiaki and kanata’s relationship is my favorite,
    out of everyone kanata is friends with, he seems to like chiaki the most. it’s been said that chiaki is the one who ‘saved’ kanata, from whatever happened to him in his second year. chiaki’s dream is to make ryuseitai successful, and making chiaki’s dream come true is kanata’s dream. kanata thinks of chiaki and ryuseitai as a whole as his home, you know, where he belongs. he’s said that he’s a ‘big fan’ of chiaki(whatever that means), and that he will follow chiaki ‘until all of the water in the ocean runs dry’, so, basically, forever. while he admires chiaki, he also gets mad at him often. kanata doesn’t like it how chiaki is foolishly selfless, how he disregards his own health to help other people, or how he is reluctant to rely on other people. he’ll scold chiaki for being too loud or too touchy feely, or he’ll stop him from interfering with the ryuseitai first years during times when they need to grow up, without their senpai holding their hands. kanata is the one supporting chiaki, who is supporting ryuseitai. chiaki cares a lot about kanata too. at first, he was wary of kanata and a little bit insensitive towards him, like everybody, because he didn’t know him, but as time went on the discomfort went away. i think kanata is somewhat of a shoulder to cry on for chiaki. chiaki cries, a lot, but he doesn’t like to let anyone see it because he is everyone’s hero. everything kanata says is confusing, but it seems like he’s used to seeing chiaki cry, so i’m sure he’s there for chiaki when he needs it.
    i love seeing him with all of ryuseitai. it’s where he seems to be the most happy. he says things like “when the 5 of us are together we can perform any miracle/we can do anything/there is nothing scary” often, and it seems like no one ever talks about how he loves ryuseitai just as much as chiaki does. it took awhile for the kids to warm up to him and for him to warm up to them, but now he seems a lot happier. ryuseitai is my favorite unit because i love them all a lot, but mostly because it really is kanata’s home.

    my favorite event is supernova. that’s the event where kanata and the ryuseitai kids started to form a better relationship, and where kanata started to realize his place as a member of ryuseitai. in events before that, it’s not like they all disliked each other, but they seemed really distant. even though chiaki knows kanata well, he too was pretty awkward around kanata. in supernova, kanata didn’t want to go to practice since he assumed the first years wouldn’t want him there without chiaki. but when he inevitably showed up, they were happy to see him. he danced with them, and they all thought he was really talented for how air-headed he pretends to be. it makes me happy because they’ve never disliked him, and when he realized that he was probably really glad. …
    the fact that he would assume that when they barely know each other makes me wonder even MORE about what happened in his second year.
    on stage, midori had a depression moment and kanata calmed him down. midori didn’t understand what kanata was saying, but it made him happy to be comforted. then, kanata swore loyalty to ryuseitai and after the live, all of the kids fell asleep on him. you have to be pretty comfortable with someone to just fall asleep on them right? that also made him happy. in all ryuseitai events after that, they started to seem more and more like a happy little family. i assume something family oriented means a lot to kanata because his blood related family is so strange and stresses him out so much to the point where he doesn’t want to go home.


    i also love aquarium, even though it makes me really sad. i thought it would be happy and cute but it was actually pretty depressing. if this was even possible, it made me like kanata by 100x more because he seemed more real to me. even just the prologue makes me cry. when he starts talking about his mom, i be like...i felt that. he implies he would trade being a hero for his mother’s approval. even though chiaki’s dream is so important to him, he values that above all. that reeeeeeally makes me want to know what exactly is up with his home life.
    later on into the story, kaoru finds him sitting in a fish tank at the aquarium, like it’s totally normal… kanata had been missing from school for a while because of a dispute in his home, but he tries very very hard to avoid explaining anything at all about it to kaoru. basically he really doesn’t like talking to other people about his problems. i think the way he was acting was adorable but i do wish he would open up to people. especially to kaoru.... kaoru says that kanata puts a lot of effort into distancing himself from people. that makes me pretty sad, but the rest of the story is kanata realizing how many people actually love him. at the end he says he thinks of ryuseitai as his home.

    now i will talk about silent wisteria… this one is set at the beginning of the year on the timeline, and it’s a bit painful for me to read because of how distant kanata is from chiaki and shinobu. also, the prologue starts out with his crying cg.. what was the reason?! the worst part is, that cg never got explained. why was kanata, who can’t swim, waist deep in the ocean crying, while the sun was setting? your mind sort of goes to the most obvious thing, right? i don’t want to type it but you know what i mean... especially since it was never clarified… in this story we meet madara. who kanata doesn’t seem to like. he even hits him. kanata is just cold to madara until the very end of the story, where he thanks madara for allowing him to meet chiaki and he even calls him ‘mama’ … i’m glad kanata doesn’t truly hate him… it’s not a good feeling to truly hate someone
    i don’t have anything .. good? to say about this one, i guess, but it is really important to kanata’s character. shinobu mentioned being afraid of him, and chiaki said he was afraid that kanata would pull mitsuru under the water… but if you fast forward to later in the year, chiaki, kanata, and shinobu have the image of two parents and their child. i guess the positive thing here is that. i’m glad kanata made friends.

    the last one that i have a lot to say about is the eccentric gacha. i love ryuseitai and the marine bio club, but i also really love the oddballs. this gacha is lighthearted and cute… finally some good food
    kanata is especially cute in it. he’s found in the snow by shu and wataru, because he’s tired after carrying a bunch of fish tanks. something only kanata would do… they buy him something to drink and offer to carry him so he can continue to rest. later they all end up at a cafe where natsume is sort of working. they all fight over who natsume should sit by, natsume says that the seat next to shu seems the most comfortable, and kanata says “i don’t know about wataru and rei but the seat next to me is safe” and then they tease him and say that he has always been the weirdest oddball. they play a game where they tell each other an embarrassing past memory and they all have to promise to forget about it, so kanata says he wants them to forget that they bought him something to drink because he doesn’t want to pay them back. hahaha… he’s so cute…. but, like with every story kanata is in, when they tell him that they weren’t going to make him pay them back anyway, he changes his wish to “please forget about my home” … really makes you think. they all tell him that they’ve always loved him for who he is and not for his family though. glad to see the oddballs are woke.
    i like every story that kanata is in and i could go on and on and on about every single one but i kind of already have outside of this and i think you’d start getting pretty lost if you aren’t already so i will hold myself back… but these four are my favorites.

    when i think about kanata backstory, it’s easy to assume the worst. why has an event about it not happened yet despite the game being out for three years? it makes me think that it could be really sad, even more sad than checkmate, which would be TERRIBLE...
    but no matter how sad it is, kanata was happy at graduation time. and he was always happy with ryuseitai. so i’m sure he’s put it passed him. that’s the important part. when his backstory finally does come out i know that i’m going to cry a lot, but i’ll be happy that he doesn’t have to suffer like that anymore. it would be funny if it ends up not being that bad and all of us were waiting in anxiousness for 2 years for nothing


    if this was not obvious already, kanata is such an important character to me. when i am upset, if i just read a substory of his, or listen to marine blue rendezvous, i start to feel better or look at my problem rationally, because he’s calmed me down. i feel motivated to go outside or work extra hard because i feel like he would praise me for it.. hehe…
    i think kanata and i are similar, not in personality, but there are other things about him that i can relate to. kanata’s status as a ‘living god’ is strange, i can’t relate to that, i’m still not entirely sure what that means because akira likes to put important information like that in the story and then explain much later… i am definitely not worshipped by anybody. but, i know that he gets a lot of pressure from his family to act a certain way, and he wants to be seen in a positive light by his mother, and he wants to be treated normally, not put on a pedestal of way too high expectations. i can relate to things like that a lot.
    despite him feeling that way, he still tries to live life at his own pace and in his own way, and so do i. i’ve always felt bad for not being the absolute best child, but then i found out that he and i are the same, and i’m probably not doing anything wrong. i’ve also never had many friends or been very social at all, either because i’ve been seen as weird or i push people away, just like him. i can relate to constantly putting up a front, while actually being pretty sensitive on the inside. there’s more but... seeing things like this, things i’ve always hated about myself, in the character i love the most makes me feel a lot better. i don’t hate these things about kanata, so how could i hate them about myself? kanata can still function despite being this way, he can grow out of his flaws and be happy, so i don’t see why i, a real living person, can’t do the same. kanata can still succeed even if he has many things weighing him down, so i can too. kanata can rely on people and learn to trust people, so i need to follow his example…. i KNOW he isn’t real but he’s indirectly helped me more than a lot of real people have. if kanata can help me become a better person just by existing as himself then that’s just another thing that puts him in my book of greatest people of all time :D

    ..sometimes i wonder what it would be like to just be his friend. he treats everyone a little differently, so i wonder how he would treat me. i think he would like me, since he doesn’t dislike people without a good reason to. i’d do my best to treat him normally because that’s how he’d prefer to be treated. it would be hard since he’s so cool… but i’d do it
    i don’t exactly like him romantically, i mean, i do, i guess, but i don’t really imagine myself … like that with him. it’s kind of embarrassing…..if he were real i’d probably just always admire him, and never tell him. but if i could support him and help him like he has done to me, i think that would be my greatest happiness. i’m sure just a hug or a head-pat from him would make me happy for the rest of my life.

    i also wanted to talk about the actual game after all of that sappy stuff
    i started actually playing the game for real! a couple of months after i got into the franchise. i remember scouting in the ‘best shot’ gacha, so it was the end of july 2016. i haven’t missed a single one of kanata’s cards since i started playing…. enstars took my free to play virginity. a friend of mine gave me my current account when it was sad and bare, but still good enough to play events with, and it had a few kanata cards already. the first one i got on my own was his beach match three star, and then a while later his scroll of the elements four star dropped for me on my first emergency live. i was really happy about it, thinking about it now is a little embarrassing because i was REALLY happy man bro chill it’s just a four star drop this happens to people all the time
    at some point(still 2016) i started the starry night revival event and got that five star of his. at this point kanata had become my #1 or at least #2 favorite character, so i started to play the game way more regularly. i don’t know the exact month i bought my first dias but it started in 2016.. whew
    the first gacha of 2017 was eccentric, and i scouted sooo much in there but he never came home, until his birthday. i got every card in that gacha except for him… #cuckold
    in may, he got his first rank five star. you know. crying kanata. seeing the announcement for that was one of the weirdest moments of my life. i always get nervous a few minutes before announcement time but the feeling usually goes away, but this time it didn’t. i was still sort of recovering from baton pass (can’t remember when i became ryuseitaiP but it happened) and so, seeing him waist deep, in the ocean, at night, really messed with my mind. i didn’t shut up about that card for eight hours straight. as much as i prayed for him to be points, there was no chance, and so that was my first time even attempting to rank. somehow, i did it, i ended up at about 10,500, i just barely made it. it all feels like a fever dream now, i barely slept during the whole event period and i cried so hard when it was over… a few months later he got his aquarium five star, which was points, and i sort of wilded out and got him the day after the event started. i was really tired so i didn’t rank for kaoru, but i kind of wish i did… umm i think sometime around then was when the third ryuseitai cd came out, and so did the system of limited cd jacket cards. man that was so stressful for me because i almost didn’t get kanata… i got him at the last minute after spending [REDACTED] dollars. then… his birthday! that was the best day of my life, so far… i had six pulls for his birthday gacha, and i only had to use four to get all of his cards. like every single one. his jellyfish five star came to me twice in the first pull, and his eccentric four star came to me in the last pull (always playing hard to get) and i got every gacha card i was missing of his.
    in january… he finally got his second gacha. we all know it is the most beautiful card ever but getting it was absolute hell for me. i did 14 pulls and so many solos… i still didn’t have him by the time the ryuseitai album came out, and i got kanata’s limited four star while pulling in the zodiac 2 gacha but STILL NO KANATA. i finally got him during the third anniversary with the five star ticket. the last card that was difficult to get was his anniversary four star. the 3B gacha started right in the middle of the school festival ryuseitai event, and i was in the middle of ranking, but, of course, i dropped three pulls on him and got him in my third pull. it wasn’t too bad because i still ranked high enough for two copies of midori but, i really REALLY don’t like gacha cards… i have bad luck with them and no self control. if you didn’t pick this up already i spent quite a lot of money in zodiac 2. ah but do not be alarmed i am not irresponsible with money ^_^~
    events are easier, i think, haha… at this point that i am writing this i am missing three kanata cards, they’re all event; christmas live three star, triumph of the emperor four star, and supernova five star. im working on getting them but two of them are in full ryuseitai events so i have to prepare myself while also playing all of the ongoing events. i am also steadily working on maxing out his affection rank. at the time of writing this it’s at 47 out of 55. less than 10 to go! all of this has been really tiring, but i’m proud of how far i’ve come since last year. it feels great to look at my collection and know i did that all on my own. maybe kanata would be proud of me …?

    since i spend a lot of money on the game, i don’t have a lot of merch… i have the things i like the most though. like his huge omanjuu, and two of the nui plushies, and i have the nesoberi plush, that one is my favorite. he’s the perfect cuddle partner. my cat likes to cuddle with my kanata dolls too haha. i have a few other things but, i have no need for something like an ita-bag because i’m not a con-goer. i am trying to run a nui account but i don’t go out often and i’m not one to just whip out an anime plush in the middle of the grocery store. i’m also not very open about my.. interests to my family and friends offline. i admire people with a lot of kanata stuff though. anyone who loves kanata is good in my eyes. character claimers you’re on thin ice that is rapidly cracking though

    umm ummmmm well, i don’t know what else to talk about. … this is pretty long and embarrassing huh.. well all i ask is that you don’t ridicule me for it because I KNOW but i don’t want to hear it. my goal with this was to try and get my feelings across and maybe get people to like kanata, or like him more than they already did. did it work? please tell me :D
    when need be i will add things to this .. and i’m sorry if i forgot anything … well you wouldn’t know if i forgot anything now would you
    hehaha. yea
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    okay i think everyone stopped reading, so, i’m addressing the last part directly to kanata
    ….
    kanata, i would never in a million years let you read any of the above because not only is it extremely embarrassing but, being idolized and analyzed is something you really don’t like.
    so, what i will say to you is this: thank you.
    you have done so much for me. you have changed and continue to change my life for the better for every second i think about you. this may sound like a reach, but i would be a much sadder person if i had not gotten into ensemble stars and fallen in love with you and your unit, and made friends who let me talk about you endlessly. i feel like, since the first time i met you until now, i have changed for the better. i still say and do some pretty bad things sometimes but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. and it’s all because of you. so thank you.
    a time will come when i move on from enstars, but you will always be the number one idol in my heart. i will always remember you as a happy and fun part of my life. you’ve done exactly what an idol, what ryuseitai, was aiming to do. thank you so much kanata! i love you!!! i always will! i promise! hehe